Cayden is now 10 years old.  Full of joy (mostly) and loving the adventures he gets to go on.  The most common question we get regarding Cayden is what is his disability.  We know it is a chromosomal duplication of his 7th chromosome.  What’s hard to explain is exactly how that affects Cayden.  His speech is affected, his motor skills, his cognitive ability and some of his physical characteristics.

I think what is hard to explain to people that aren’t really familiar with special needs is, there isn’t a name.  It’s not a condition that is explained in one word.  People often assume that children with a disability have Autism.  While Autism is becoming more understood and accepted by the public, there is still a lot to learn about people with disabilities.

We were at a going away party for friends and it was outside.  There were 3 things I was afraid of.  First, there were people who didn’t know Cayden.  They didn’t know who he was, what his needs were or his tendencies (either hit or push).  Second there was the heat.  Cayden’s body doesn’t properly cool him.  He can become overheated and when he does he starts to loose control of his body and starts acting out more and becoming more unstable on his feet.  Third, there was a playground and also water.  Cayden struggles leaving play structures or keeping his hands to himself while at playgrounds or play areas.

It’s hard to enjoy adult interactions when you always have to be watching your kid.  A typical 10 year old should be looking after his little brother and playing in the water.  Well, not mine.  Within 5 to 10 minutes of getting there a small group of children had already pointed Cayden out to their parents.  He was “spanking” them and running away laughing.

The parent was as polite as he could be in bringing up the situation.  He asked if I could talk to my son about it and have him stop.  I apologized and let him know he had special needs and this was something we had been working on for the last several years.  I did chuckle later when Cayden spanked another adult.  In a very serious tone she asked him “Why would you do that”? He cackled and continued on running.  Even though I found it slightly funny, I took Cayden to the shade to hopefully calm down.

When it comes to leaving, we usually try to strategize the best time to leave.  It usually involves some distraction or just hiding and grabbing Cayden when he isn’t suspecting it.  I’ve had to climb to the top of the McDonald’s play structure before to retrieve Cayden who thought it would be hilarious to hide up there.  Luckily on this trip we were able to find a good time to leave and Cayden did well.

Overall I think what really helps us and what has helped this past year have some great adventures is our neighbors.  I am so grateful that they accept Cayden and don’t shy away from us or him.  It can be uncomfortable being around people with different needs.  You may not know what exactly they need or what you should do.  It’s pretty simple.  Love them just as you would anyone else.  Treat them as you would anyone else.

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Here is Cayden with our neighbor enjoying the river.  Our neighbor placed him on the board and jumped out into the river and rode some waves with him.  He didn’t treat him different or out of fear leave Cayden on the sideline watching.  For us, it’s been great to join others on adventures and not have to worry the whole time what Cayden may do.

It’s also not fair to Cayden for us to withhold things from him out of our own fear.  I think this summer has been great so far with local adventures and activities.  Cayden’s new phrase after we finish something is “That was fun”.  I’m looking forward to more adventures and some more fun to finish out our summer vacation.