A new year has just started, and in no time it will be over.  It is amazing how fast life just flies past us.  Growing up I always wished I was older or that a special event would come more quickly.  However, now that I have kids, I wish time would slow down, even for just a bit.  Cayden is now in the first grade, that part alone is hard to imagine.  It seems like it was just yesterday that he was learning to walk.

Cayden is a special boy, not just the fact that he has special needs.  He really is special.  He has an attitude about him that can be contagious.  He is mostly happy and eager to learn.  Lately he has been learning a lot of new words and trying to use 4 or 5 at a time.  He has his little phrases that he will use, “Woody hat”, “Draw Elliot Larry”.  Now these phrases don’t mean much to a person on the outside.  They just appear random and jumbled, but in fact they refer to some of his favorite things.  For Christmas he got a Woody doll that has a hat that comes off.  Now Cayden will frequently lose the hat and we have to search the house until we can find Woody’s hat, thus the phrase “Woody Hat” was born.

Cayden has a Veggie Tales DVD of The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.  He has watched the movie tons of times and thus has moved his way into the menus.  He found one video that is a step by step how to draw the characters.  He will occasionally draw the characters, but mostly he ask us to draw them.  Hence “Draw Elliot Larry”.  Cayden is also enjoying going to school, for the most part.  I don’t think he is always a fan of waking up in the morning, but hey who is.

We’ve had people ask us, “what level do they expect Cayden to reach?”  That is a good question.  I don’t think we have enough input on his genetic disorder to really know where his ceiling is or if he even has one.  But for us to put a ceiling on him would hinder any future growth.  And there lies the struggle of every parent.  At what point do we as parents give up pushing our kids higher and accept where they are.  I know first grade is way to early to expect a decline in learning.  But will I be ready in 7th or 8th grade to hear that Cayden is no longer learning new academic material and he’s slowed down in other areas?

I don’t know if I will be ready for that.  How do you prepare yourself to hear that?  Deep down I feel that we will hear something along those lines, but it would be amazing to see Cayden grow up and out of his disability.  Does that make sense?  Learning so much about himself and the world around him that he could understand how to handle himself socially and physically.  It would be a miracle, one that may or may not happen, it doesn’t change who Cayden is.  There are times that I wouldn’t mind waking up at 3 in the morning hearing my son say good morning, even though it was still clearly night. Or running to you excited to show you something.

I will miss being needed.  Miss being able to solve all their problems.  Miss being the strongest and fastest person they know.  As parents we grow old, our kids no longer need us like they did when they were young.  However, with a special needs child, we may always be needed.  We may always be the strongest and fastest.  They will always be with us.  We will be there for him for as long as it is needed.

So to a new year, a year of pushing on, pushing towards the goals.