The other night we were over at a friends house.  There were several other couples there as well with their kids.  Lizzy and I know and understand that Cayden is different.  This isn’t an issue for us, we love Cayden just the way he is.  However, with his “difference” there are times where you can feel sad for your child.  I would assume it’s a normal feeling for parents with children with disabilities.  We as parents have expectations for our children.  I had expectations for my first son before he was even born.  I wanted to play catch with him in the backyard.  I  wanted to see him run around and have fun.  I wanted to take him fishing, take him camping.  I wanted to teach him how to ride a bike, and do jumps with his bike.  However, those are the things I wanted for Cayden, not what he wanted for himself.  Cayden at the lake

Back to our friends house.  All the kids were playing together upstairs, well almost all of the kids.  The two 1 year olds and Cayden were downstairs.  The other kids didn’t leave Cayden out, in fact they interact with him fairly well.  Cayden just loves books and the bookshelf just happened to be downstairs.  Books were coming off those bookshelves faster than the latest technology at Best Buy.  He was enjoying the new books and finding his favorite ones about Thomas the Tank Engine.  Then dinner was ready, all the children were excited to eat, all except Cayden, he was so focused on the books and his new favorite toy.  Cayden has a fascination with windshield wipers, he wants them on rain or shine.  This toy had windshield wipers, he could turn them on and off all he wanted.

After the kids were done eating the older ones were playing on the Wii and the younger ones were playing together.  All the kids except Cayden.  He lay in the other room by himself.  Himself and his new toy with the wipers.  He laid there watching the wipers going back and forth.  This made me sad, I thought to myself how great it would be to see Cayden playing with the other kids, cracking jokes and laughing at the game.  Doing the things a “normal” almost six year old would be doing.  I was sad for him, sad that he was alone on the floor playing with a toy.  But here is this boy, perfectly content watching the wipers go back and forth.  He wasn’t sad, he was happy, happy to be who he is.

How many times do we as parents try to make our kids what we want them to be.  How many times do we get in their way of their dreams.  Think about that, have I caused any of my children to give up on a dream.  I don’t want to be the one that tells my kid that his dream is too big or unattainable.  I don’t want to be the one that tells my kid to give up, to settle for less.  I want to be the one that encourages Cayden to do what he loves.  Even if it’s not what I want, if he is happy that is enough.

Raising a child with a disability can be tough, it is tough.  However, it is also a joy.  Not a day goes by that Cayden doesn’t make us laugh.  He is a fun little boy that is constantly on the move and constantly looking for new things to learn.  He has started to pick up new words from school that he brings home.  He can now say: hello, go home, ham, hi, yellow, along with several others.  A random set of words, but words none the less.  Since his genetic disorder is pretty rare we do not know what his future really holds.  I hold out hope that his brain will make the right connections and he will continue to increase his verbal language.  I know he gets frustrated when he can’t communicate with us and with his friends.  He uses his Dynavox to say what he wants, but he has yet to master it to use it for communication beyond that.  My hope would be that he can use his device to hold conversations at some point.  Ultimately I would love for Cayden to not need a device, I would be so happy to hear him carry on conversations with his brother.

But if Cayden never does speak beyond simple words I won’t be disappointed in him.  I will still love him and support him in his journey of being himself.  There is none like Cayden, out of all the children in the world, there is not a single one like him.  He is truly himself.